Romantic love can feel pretty fantastic. When you love someone, you choose to nurture the first stirrings of attraction, feeding those early feelings and strengthening them to weather stressors to come. The work involved may not always feel easy. Yet many people find the reward — mutual, lasting love — well worth the investment. Safety is a cornerstone of loving relationships. Feeling safe also means feeling free to make your own decisions and express yourself without fearing their response.
How to tell if someone is in love with you
When you share opinions and goals, you receive encouragement, not putdowns or criticism. If they do have an angry outburst, they might agree right away to get help — not just to improve for themselves, but also because they saw your fear and want to help you feel safe again. In a healthy relationshippartners acknowledge the bad as well as the good. Someone who loves you will accept your individual ideas and feelings as part of who you are. Love requires open, honest communication.
Sometimes, you might find it more productive to vent to a friend about these minor irritations instead of picking at every little annoyance. Good communication might involve:. A loving partner, however, will also recognize you have a separate identity outside the relationship and support you when you want to spend time seeing friends or pursuing your own hobbies.
1. pay attention to what he says
Your partner may not always agree with the way you spend your time. A partner who loves you will likely trust you, unless you betray them. Trust also means they feel safe enough to share opinions and emotions, open up about challenges they face, and ask for help. This trust might not hold if you mislead, deceive, or betray them. Love often remains where trust has shattered, so you can sometimes rebuild this trust — but not without time, transparency, and hard work.
Attraction might happen in an instant, but lasting love requires more time and commitment. But this sometimes suggests a controlling or manipulative personality, not true romance. With so many people in the world, the idea of one-and-only instant love can seem pretty flimsy. Someone who truly cares will want to build your love from the ground and shore it up at the seams by:. In healthy relationships, both partners work together to find solutions for areas that could improve, such as communication or intimacy.
A partner who loves you will make sacrifices of their own to find a solution where you both feel satisfied. Maybe neither one of you gets everything you hoped for, but meeting in the middle can leave you both content. While no single person can meet all your needs, romantic partners do provide plenty of emotional support.
Many people seek romantic relationships for just that reason.
A partner who respects you will show that they value you and your time together. But they do hand you a cup of coffee every morning once you make it to the kitchen. They never forget your dates, and they smile whenever you walk into the room. Love is most visible in the small moments of everyday life. Rather than sweeping you off your feet with lavish gestures, someone who loves you may simply offer a steady, caring presence in your life.
They show up for the bad as well as the good, making it clear you can count on their continued support. Someone who truly loves you will let you go once it becomes clear your relationship has run its course. Couples counseling can offer a great space to explore this together. In therapy, you can practice good communication, explore goals for the future, and identify any areas of tension, so you can address them before they create problems down the line.
Crystal Raypole has ly worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. Are dilated pupils really a of attraction? What does it really mean to be in love? And is it that different from simply loving someone? Unconditional love is often said to be the foundation of a healthy relationship, but what does it actually mean? And is it even a realistic goal?
2. pay careful attention to what he does
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They love to make you feel optimistic
You feel safe with them. They listen. They acknowledge your differences instead of trying to change you. You can communicate easily. They encourage you to do your own thing. You trust each other.
They make an effort to touch you throughout the day
They make an effort. You know you can collaborate or compromise. They help you get your needs met. They respect you.
You see it every day. They want the best for you.
The bottom line. Read this next. Is It Love? Medically reviewed by Debra Rose Wilson, Ph. Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph. Medically reviewed by Alexander Klein, PsyD.
Medically reviewed by Tiffany Taft, PsyD.